I'm watching the sunrise this morning....there's something wonderfully surreal, magical, peaceful, other-worldly about the sunrise. It's quiet and yet profound at the same time. It makes me think about God, His amazing creativity and artistry. A piece of which He put into me, and I'm blessed by this piece of knowledgde. Sunrise is a whispered reminder that God has an amazing plan for my life, that He created me with specific talents, passions, callings, giftings, and desires. God loves beauty, and everything that we think of as beautiful is inspired by His works of art. It's in these quiet times of savoring a piece of His art that I find myself drawn to or called out for His purposes on my life. God is preparing me, shaping me, refining me, and when He says "Go!" I want to be prepared, not that I will every be fully ready, but I can prepare myself for what and where He has called me to. Gosh, I wish most of my friends could be up to really just sit and watch the sunrise today, it's truly beautiful, very orange, fiery, alive! It excites and intrigues me to watch the colors appear, shift, melt together, then slowly blend out into sky. I want to make beautiful things, to inspire people, to remind people what Our Creator is capable of, that He's not only our Warrior, Protector, Just and Righteous Judge, Strong Tower, but that He's also an Artist, a lover of beauty, passionate, tender, inspirerer(that may or may not be a word) a creator of beautiful things. He's got this side that we sometimes just forget to acknowledge. We cry out to him in times of hurt, of fear; We petition Him on behalf of friends, family, ourselves; We call on Him for protection, for provision, for direction, wisdom. We praise Him for answered prayer, or for our small grasping of how much he loves us, for the grace He freely bestows upon us. These are all good things, but I want to find myself calling out to Him for inspiration! For eyes to see His beauty, to absorb his artwork like I would at any museum. To praise Him for His beauty, for the beauty that He has spilled all over the world I live in, the beauty in people who touch my life, and me theirs, for the beauty of the giftings of others, so that we can sing amazing worship songs, or have an awesome prayer warrior petition on my behalf, or for the graciousness of someone who is willing to reach out and help, the boldness of brothers and sisters sharing God with people, I want to see that more! I want to appreciate the beauty and creativity and work that has gone into my life and my world! And thank God for it more and more!
Wishing inspiring sunrises to all of you, everyday!
Kaila
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Save the Pit Bulls! SO GOOD!
A Letter To Peta In Memory of Jocee - Rescued from hell 12 years ago to live the wonderful life of a cherished pet until she passed at 14 years of age....
A letter to Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, in response to "Some Dogs are Weapons - Ban Them"
Dear Ms. Newkirk, I
was under the impression that PETA was dedicated to helping animals. That was until I found out that you support a mass-euthanasia policy for the most abused, persecuted and misunderstood breed of dog - the American Pit Bull Terrier. For generations, the Pit Bull has been beloved for its loyalty, strength, versatility, bravery, and intelligence. Contrary to beliefs held by those unfamiliar with the breed, the American Pit Bull Terrier is one of the most stable, people-friendly dogs in existence. I have been working with Pit Bulls for years and currently volunteer for a Pit Bull rescue group. Over the past year, our local rescue group has placed over 100 Pit Bulls into loving homes with absolutely no problems whatsoever. We get them straight from the city animal shelter, and most of the time we do not know the dog's history. It is evident that most of them have been abused and neglected. We take these dogs right from the pound to the veterinarian where they get a bath and shots and a full examination. They are obviously scared, but none have ever tried to bite us. Once, three of us lifted a huge 90 pound male Pit Bull into the bath. He was afraid of the water coming out of the hose, but he never once growled or even showed his teeth. He was shaking, but he never showed any signs of aggression. You would think that if a Pit Bull was going to attack, that it would happen when they were frightened. Yet time and time again we save dogs, put them through the same routine at the veterinarian, and none have ever even tried to bite us. Actually, several of our rescued Pit Bulls have been adopted by veterinarians. Did you know that the National Canine Temperament Testing Association tested 122 breeds, and Pit Bulls placed the 4th highest with a 95% passing rate?
I hope you can imagine the shock and disbelief I felt when I read your "Some Dogs are Weapons - Ban Them" article. I do not understand why you believe that banning Pit Bulls would be a good thing. Gang member types, who own these dogs for the wrong reasons, are the ones who need to be dealt with. They need to be charged with animal cruelty and put in jail. Please do not support the punishment of Pit Bulls for the sins of some of the unscrupulous people who own them. There are many kind and responsible people who have Pit Bulls as members of their family. These dogs do not pose a threat to anyone. We should not be denied our loving Pit Bull companions because some people chose to make their dogs aggressive. Also, if Pit Bulls are banned they will still be in the hands of the criminal because they have no respect for the law. Criminals will still fight Pit Bulls and breed Pit Bulls. The only people a pit bull ban will hurt, will be the law-abiding good citizens who can provide loving homes for them. Pit Bull rescue groups would not be able to operate if they were banned. We would not be able to rescue Pit Bulls from the shelter and adopt them out. Backyard breeders would be the only ones creating Pit Bulls and rescue would not have the ability to continue its good work.
STUBBY, PitBull Terrier mix, WWI. The most decorated war dog in U.S. history. When Pit Bulls enjoyed being the nation's most popular dog during the W.W.I era, there were no problems with vicious Pit Bull attacks. Pit Bulls were not banned anywhere. America's first war dog was a Pit Bull named Stubby who earned several medals and the rank of sergeant for his service in W.W.I. He received a hero's welcome and was even honored at the White House. He inspired the U.S. Military K-9 Corps. He also went on to become Georgetown University's mascot.
Did you know that the Little Rascals' Petey was an American Pit Bull Terrier? Would the parents of the Little Rascals let their children be in such close contact with a Pit Bull day after day if they feared that Petey could suddenly attack them without warning? Of course not. Petey was by far one of the most well trained and intelligent dogs. I urge you to rent some of the Little Rascals' episodes that feature Petey. Lassie, the Collie, bit her trainer several times. Petey never did such a thing. In fact, the only dog that has ever bitten me happened to be my sister-in-law's 9-year-old Collie. Now I thought "Lassie" was supposed to be a great family dog. Even though I was bitten by a Collie, I certainly would not advocate the breed being banned.
What are your thoughts on Rottweilers, Dobermans, German Shepherds? These are also big powerful dogs who can do a lot of damage if they attack. Many of these dogs are also abused and trained to be people-aggressive. Should we ban them as well? Or what about wolves? What about sharks and poisonous snakes? Should we ban them too, and kill all the ones we come in contact with because they have the potential to cause harm? Cars, knives and cigarettes are not banned, yet they cause many deaths.
How can you possibly support an animal shelter euthanizing Pit Bull puppies and completely docile and adoptable Pit Bulls? I thought PETA stood for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. It is not fair to exclude Pit Bulls. Fortunately, there are actually a lot of animal shelters who do not believe in such a discriminatory practice and can see past this "witch hunt" mentality. Perhaps you believe that banning Pit Bulls would protect them from being adopted by the wrong type of person? What really prevents this from happening is spaying and neutering. Pit Bull abusers not only want to fight their dogs but breed them as well. They quickly lose interest in adopting an altered dog.
The Town Lake Animal Center in Austin, Texas is just one facility that frequently adopts out Pit Bulls. In fact, the State of Texas does not allow breed-specific legislation. We have dangerous dog laws which deal with individual dogs, instead of entire breeds. Did you know that animal control officers often adopt Pit Bulls? Some cities that do not have Pit Bull bans include: San Francisco, CA; Las Vegas, NV; Stamford, CT; St. Paul, MN; Las Cruces, NM; Seattle, WA and Toronto, Canada to name a few. Also, Pit Bull bans in Sweden have been rescinded.
Pit Bull rescue groups have very high standards and extremely strict adoption qualifications. The rescue group I volunteer for, The Chako Rescue Association for the American Pit Bull Terrier, has an extensive adoption application, we run background checks, check veterinary references, require the dogs be indoor dogs (to prevent them from being stolen), and we also do surprise home inspections. Our adoption contract also entitles us to confiscate the dog and charge a fine of $2,000 if there is evidence of dog fighting. You see, there are ways to ensure that Pit Bulls find their way to loving homes and are protected and cared for. Banning the breed will accomplish nothing but more suffering for the American Pit Bull Terrier.
Hellen Keller and her dog. Did you know that Helen Keller even had a Pit Bull as her canine companion? Pit Bulls are widely used as therapy dogs, even today. Because of their high pain threshold and stable temperament, they do not bite or snap when accidentally bumped by a wheelchair or walker. RCA, Alaska first certified hearing dog Alaska's first hearing dog was a Pit Bull named RCA. The Chako Rescue Association for the American Pit Bull Terrier has a therapy dog program that exclusively uses Pit Bulls. Pit Bulls also excel at search-and-rescue. This breed is one of the most loving and loyal breeds that exist today.
In your article you state, "The pit bull's ancestor, the Staffordshire terrier, is a human concoction, bred in my native England, I'm ashamed to say, as a weapon. These dogs were designed specifically to fight other animals and kill them, for human sport". This is not entirely correct information. The American Pit Bull Terrier is a descendent of the original English bull-baiting Bulldog and has historically been bred with working/performance goals in mind, including, unfortunately, fighting. Original Bulldogs were used to fight bulls and bears, and these blood sports were extremely popular and a part of daily life in England around 1800. These people-friendly bulldogs were so loved, that in the town of Wednesbury, in Staffordshire County, the church bells rang in celebration of the birth of a famous fighting dog's pups. In fact, if a female Bulldog died during the whelping of the pups, lactating women of Staffordshire would raise the puppies by suckling them at their own breasts! And you say these dogs are weapons that are dangerous to human beings? England made blood sports illegal in 1835, and that is when dogfighting became popular. Dogfighting pits required hardly any space, and it was easy to hold the contests in secret. American Pit Bull Terriers were bred to be submissive to man, and human aggression was actually bred out of the breed. This is because the people who fought them, and their family members, would break up the dogfights and tend wounds. They could not tolerate a dog that was aggressive toward people, or their families would be in danger. Any dog that showed aggression toward a human being was immediately taken out and killed.
Currently, the United Kennel Club and the American Dog Breeder's Association recognize and register the American Pit Bull Terrier as a breed. In fact, the UKC was founded in 1898, and the Pit Bull was its first recognized breed. The AKC recognizes the American Staffordshire Terrier. The American Pit Bull Terrier and the American Staffordshire Terrier are two closely related breeds, with the American Staffordshire Terrier being, in theory, a non-game-bred off-shoot of the APBT. Conformationally, the two breeds are very similar, and many dogs are dual registered. Pit Bulls tend to be more dog-aggressive, but they are extremely people friendly. Then again it depends on the individual dog. I have seen Pit Bulls get along perfectly with all kinds of dogs and even cats. A good friend of mine has a Pit Bull who loves other dogs snuggles with the cat everyday.
You also mention that your office has a file drawer full of "Pit Bull" attacks. Did you know that a lot of times a reporter will say that a dog attack was committed by a Pit Bull just to get a story? Also, animal control officers frequently respond to reports of "Pit Bull" attacks, yet when they arrive on the scene, they discover that the dog is nothing close to a Pit Bull.
When a true American Pit Bull Terrier, does a good deed, they rarely get recognition. The Ken-L-Ration Dog Hero of 1993 was a Pit Bull named Weela. She saved 30 people, 29 dogs, 13 horses and a cat during a flood in Southern California. When Reader's Digest published the story, they absolutely REFUSED to print that Weela was a Pit Bull. This same heroic dog saved her owner's son from a rattlesnake.
Popsicle, drug sniffing dog There are other Pit Bull heroes. Recently, a pregnant Pit Bull named Blueberry saved her family from armed robbers who invaded their home. Blueberry got shot, but she scared off the attackers and luckily she and her pups survived. Another Pit Bull in Austin, Texas jumped up and took a bullet in the chest to protect his guardian. This dog also survived. Another Pit Bull named Bogart saved a four-year-old boy from drowning in a swimming pool. In Chicago recently, another Pit Bull saved a small child from being attacked by another dog of a different breed. Other Pit Bulls are currently being used to detect narcotics for the federal government. One of them was found as a puppy in a freezer during a drug raid. One of the officers happened to find him, and he was still alive. He is now one of his best canine officers. This story was covered by People Magazine. If any of these wonderful dogs were unfortunate enough to find themselves at an animal shelter with an anti-Pit Bull policy, they would be euthanized, purely based on their breed.
I still do not understand how you could support a euthanization policy for all Pit Bulls. It is completely incomprehensible to me especially because you are the president of an animal rights organization. I am very sad and disappointed to see you advocating the extinction of a breed of dog. Pit Bulls are the most misunderstood and persecuted of all breeds. Not only are they hurt by abusive owners and breed bans, but the media often portrays Pit Bulls as monsters. Even MTV plays a rap video that glamorizes Pit Bull fighting. You said "Pit bulls are perhaps the most abused dogs on the planet". I urge you to please do something positive to help them and stop adding salt to the wounds. Pit Bulls also deserve love and ethical treatment.
Sincerely,
Sonnet Dashevskaya
A letter to Ingrid Newkirk, President of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, in response to "Some Dogs are Weapons - Ban Them"
Dear Ms. Newkirk, I
was under the impression that PETA was dedicated to helping animals. That was until I found out that you support a mass-euthanasia policy for the most abused, persecuted and misunderstood breed of dog - the American Pit Bull Terrier. For generations, the Pit Bull has been beloved for its loyalty, strength, versatility, bravery, and intelligence. Contrary to beliefs held by those unfamiliar with the breed, the American Pit Bull Terrier is one of the most stable, people-friendly dogs in existence. I have been working with Pit Bulls for years and currently volunteer for a Pit Bull rescue group. Over the past year, our local rescue group has placed over 100 Pit Bulls into loving homes with absolutely no problems whatsoever. We get them straight from the city animal shelter, and most of the time we do not know the dog's history. It is evident that most of them have been abused and neglected. We take these dogs right from the pound to the veterinarian where they get a bath and shots and a full examination. They are obviously scared, but none have ever tried to bite us. Once, three of us lifted a huge 90 pound male Pit Bull into the bath. He was afraid of the water coming out of the hose, but he never once growled or even showed his teeth. He was shaking, but he never showed any signs of aggression. You would think that if a Pit Bull was going to attack, that it would happen when they were frightened. Yet time and time again we save dogs, put them through the same routine at the veterinarian, and none have ever even tried to bite us. Actually, several of our rescued Pit Bulls have been adopted by veterinarians. Did you know that the National Canine Temperament Testing Association tested 122 breeds, and Pit Bulls placed the 4th highest with a 95% passing rate?
I hope you can imagine the shock and disbelief I felt when I read your "Some Dogs are Weapons - Ban Them" article. I do not understand why you believe that banning Pit Bulls would be a good thing. Gang member types, who own these dogs for the wrong reasons, are the ones who need to be dealt with. They need to be charged with animal cruelty and put in jail. Please do not support the punishment of Pit Bulls for the sins of some of the unscrupulous people who own them. There are many kind and responsible people who have Pit Bulls as members of their family. These dogs do not pose a threat to anyone. We should not be denied our loving Pit Bull companions because some people chose to make their dogs aggressive. Also, if Pit Bulls are banned they will still be in the hands of the criminal because they have no respect for the law. Criminals will still fight Pit Bulls and breed Pit Bulls. The only people a pit bull ban will hurt, will be the law-abiding good citizens who can provide loving homes for them. Pit Bull rescue groups would not be able to operate if they were banned. We would not be able to rescue Pit Bulls from the shelter and adopt them out. Backyard breeders would be the only ones creating Pit Bulls and rescue would not have the ability to continue its good work.
STUBBY, PitBull Terrier mix, WWI. The most decorated war dog in U.S. history. When Pit Bulls enjoyed being the nation's most popular dog during the W.W.I era, there were no problems with vicious Pit Bull attacks. Pit Bulls were not banned anywhere. America's first war dog was a Pit Bull named Stubby who earned several medals and the rank of sergeant for his service in W.W.I. He received a hero's welcome and was even honored at the White House. He inspired the U.S. Military K-9 Corps. He also went on to become Georgetown University's mascot.
Did you know that the Little Rascals' Petey was an American Pit Bull Terrier? Would the parents of the Little Rascals let their children be in such close contact with a Pit Bull day after day if they feared that Petey could suddenly attack them without warning? Of course not. Petey was by far one of the most well trained and intelligent dogs. I urge you to rent some of the Little Rascals' episodes that feature Petey. Lassie, the Collie, bit her trainer several times. Petey never did such a thing. In fact, the only dog that has ever bitten me happened to be my sister-in-law's 9-year-old Collie. Now I thought "Lassie" was supposed to be a great family dog. Even though I was bitten by a Collie, I certainly would not advocate the breed being banned.
What are your thoughts on Rottweilers, Dobermans, German Shepherds? These are also big powerful dogs who can do a lot of damage if they attack. Many of these dogs are also abused and trained to be people-aggressive. Should we ban them as well? Or what about wolves? What about sharks and poisonous snakes? Should we ban them too, and kill all the ones we come in contact with because they have the potential to cause harm? Cars, knives and cigarettes are not banned, yet they cause many deaths.
How can you possibly support an animal shelter euthanizing Pit Bull puppies and completely docile and adoptable Pit Bulls? I thought PETA stood for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. It is not fair to exclude Pit Bulls. Fortunately, there are actually a lot of animal shelters who do not believe in such a discriminatory practice and can see past this "witch hunt" mentality. Perhaps you believe that banning Pit Bulls would protect them from being adopted by the wrong type of person? What really prevents this from happening is spaying and neutering. Pit Bull abusers not only want to fight their dogs but breed them as well. They quickly lose interest in adopting an altered dog.
The Town Lake Animal Center in Austin, Texas is just one facility that frequently adopts out Pit Bulls. In fact, the State of Texas does not allow breed-specific legislation. We have dangerous dog laws which deal with individual dogs, instead of entire breeds. Did you know that animal control officers often adopt Pit Bulls? Some cities that do not have Pit Bull bans include: San Francisco, CA; Las Vegas, NV; Stamford, CT; St. Paul, MN; Las Cruces, NM; Seattle, WA and Toronto, Canada to name a few. Also, Pit Bull bans in Sweden have been rescinded.
Pit Bull rescue groups have very high standards and extremely strict adoption qualifications. The rescue group I volunteer for, The Chako Rescue Association for the American Pit Bull Terrier, has an extensive adoption application, we run background checks, check veterinary references, require the dogs be indoor dogs (to prevent them from being stolen), and we also do surprise home inspections. Our adoption contract also entitles us to confiscate the dog and charge a fine of $2,000 if there is evidence of dog fighting. You see, there are ways to ensure that Pit Bulls find their way to loving homes and are protected and cared for. Banning the breed will accomplish nothing but more suffering for the American Pit Bull Terrier.
Hellen Keller and her dog. Did you know that Helen Keller even had a Pit Bull as her canine companion? Pit Bulls are widely used as therapy dogs, even today. Because of their high pain threshold and stable temperament, they do not bite or snap when accidentally bumped by a wheelchair or walker. RCA, Alaska first certified hearing dog Alaska's first hearing dog was a Pit Bull named RCA. The Chako Rescue Association for the American Pit Bull Terrier has a therapy dog program that exclusively uses Pit Bulls. Pit Bulls also excel at search-and-rescue. This breed is one of the most loving and loyal breeds that exist today.
In your article you state, "The pit bull's ancestor, the Staffordshire terrier, is a human concoction, bred in my native England, I'm ashamed to say, as a weapon. These dogs were designed specifically to fight other animals and kill them, for human sport". This is not entirely correct information. The American Pit Bull Terrier is a descendent of the original English bull-baiting Bulldog and has historically been bred with working/performance goals in mind, including, unfortunately, fighting. Original Bulldogs were used to fight bulls and bears, and these blood sports were extremely popular and a part of daily life in England around 1800. These people-friendly bulldogs were so loved, that in the town of Wednesbury, in Staffordshire County, the church bells rang in celebration of the birth of a famous fighting dog's pups. In fact, if a female Bulldog died during the whelping of the pups, lactating women of Staffordshire would raise the puppies by suckling them at their own breasts! And you say these dogs are weapons that are dangerous to human beings? England made blood sports illegal in 1835, and that is when dogfighting became popular. Dogfighting pits required hardly any space, and it was easy to hold the contests in secret. American Pit Bull Terriers were bred to be submissive to man, and human aggression was actually bred out of the breed. This is because the people who fought them, and their family members, would break up the dogfights and tend wounds. They could not tolerate a dog that was aggressive toward people, or their families would be in danger. Any dog that showed aggression toward a human being was immediately taken out and killed.
Currently, the United Kennel Club and the American Dog Breeder's Association recognize and register the American Pit Bull Terrier as a breed. In fact, the UKC was founded in 1898, and the Pit Bull was its first recognized breed. The AKC recognizes the American Staffordshire Terrier. The American Pit Bull Terrier and the American Staffordshire Terrier are two closely related breeds, with the American Staffordshire Terrier being, in theory, a non-game-bred off-shoot of the APBT. Conformationally, the two breeds are very similar, and many dogs are dual registered. Pit Bulls tend to be more dog-aggressive, but they are extremely people friendly. Then again it depends on the individual dog. I have seen Pit Bulls get along perfectly with all kinds of dogs and even cats. A good friend of mine has a Pit Bull who loves other dogs snuggles with the cat everyday.
You also mention that your office has a file drawer full of "Pit Bull" attacks. Did you know that a lot of times a reporter will say that a dog attack was committed by a Pit Bull just to get a story? Also, animal control officers frequently respond to reports of "Pit Bull" attacks, yet when they arrive on the scene, they discover that the dog is nothing close to a Pit Bull.
When a true American Pit Bull Terrier, does a good deed, they rarely get recognition. The Ken-L-Ration Dog Hero of 1993 was a Pit Bull named Weela. She saved 30 people, 29 dogs, 13 horses and a cat during a flood in Southern California. When Reader's Digest published the story, they absolutely REFUSED to print that Weela was a Pit Bull. This same heroic dog saved her owner's son from a rattlesnake.
Popsicle, drug sniffing dog There are other Pit Bull heroes. Recently, a pregnant Pit Bull named Blueberry saved her family from armed robbers who invaded their home. Blueberry got shot, but she scared off the attackers and luckily she and her pups survived. Another Pit Bull in Austin, Texas jumped up and took a bullet in the chest to protect his guardian. This dog also survived. Another Pit Bull named Bogart saved a four-year-old boy from drowning in a swimming pool. In Chicago recently, another Pit Bull saved a small child from being attacked by another dog of a different breed. Other Pit Bulls are currently being used to detect narcotics for the federal government. One of them was found as a puppy in a freezer during a drug raid. One of the officers happened to find him, and he was still alive. He is now one of his best canine officers. This story was covered by People Magazine. If any of these wonderful dogs were unfortunate enough to find themselves at an animal shelter with an anti-Pit Bull policy, they would be euthanized, purely based on their breed.
I still do not understand how you could support a euthanization policy for all Pit Bulls. It is completely incomprehensible to me especially because you are the president of an animal rights organization. I am very sad and disappointed to see you advocating the extinction of a breed of dog. Pit Bulls are the most misunderstood and persecuted of all breeds. Not only are they hurt by abusive owners and breed bans, but the media often portrays Pit Bulls as monsters. Even MTV plays a rap video that glamorizes Pit Bull fighting. You said "Pit bulls are perhaps the most abused dogs on the planet". I urge you to please do something positive to help them and stop adding salt to the wounds. Pit Bulls also deserve love and ethical treatment.
Sincerely,
Sonnet Dashevskaya
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Coffee, lots of it, and awkward Tuesdays.
Mmmm, so here's what's been going on in my life....coffee. Lots of it, actually, uninterupted coffee with friends. Well, mostly Katie, but she's new every day, so really, it's like I have TONS of different friends with a WHOLE lot going on in their lives. No offense Katie, I love you. :) Jaidyn started Head Start, which is a head start on kindergarten (clever, right?) She goes Monday through Thursday from noon until 4. These 4 hours are glorious. I spend most of it going to coffee, lunch, or getting random facial piercings. Okay, that was only once, but still.... These 4 hours are precious to me for numerous reasons, I'll let you know some of them.
1. I've never not had my daughter, work, or school to be occupied with, or that one time I had a boyfriend. So, basically, these 4 hours are devoted to me and my selfish natures.
2. No child screaming that she has to go potty, that she's bored, that she wants to do something else, or crawling all over me. It's amazing how an actual conversation sounds like without punctuation from a 5 year old.
3. I get to hang out with friends. And they're MY friends, and I don't have to share them with my small human, who thinks they're HER friends.
4. Barnes & Noble, a peppermint white mocha and 3+ hours of ininturupted reading. Nothing better...okay, that's a lie, I can think of a few things that are better, but sitll, on my top ten "nothing better" list.
5. Time to clean the house without it being destroyed right after or during the cleaning process. Okay, so I actually haven't done this yet...but I fully intend to, and it will be amazing.
6.Lunch...I can go anywhere besides McDonald's or Shari's. Amazing!
7. I really needed a break from Jaidyn, she's intense, and God gave me 4 hours 4 days a week. God's good.
8. Sleep...because sometimes there really is nothing better than a nap.
9. Makeup...I can do mine without having to start a movie, get a snack out, watch this, listen to a song or any other thing Jaidyn finds more important than my doing makeup. And, I can go to M.A.C. and have Laurel do my makeup and don't have to worry about Jaidyn being stolen, or knocking over the mannequins she poses with. :)
10. Who says there needs to be a round 10 reasons?
These are some of the reasons I love my 4 hours. But, Jaidyn is totally loving school too! She brings her little backpack and show and tell stuff. So precious. And she's making friends, and she's just happier all around. She asks me every day if it's a school day! Although, on her second day of school she asked me "mommy, am I going to school again today?" And I said "yes, you are going to school today. You will be going almost every day." Her response? "But you should let me skip out on school today, cause then we can snuggle" My daughter, skipping school at age 5. Sweet. So, here's the thing about her school though...So I walk in on her first day of school to pick her up, and who do I almost literally walk into? Scott's mom. Perfect. Because I need socially awkward situations with my ex boyfriend whom I'm no longer speaking to's mother. She totally didn't even recognize me at first, then when we were walking out to the buses, she told Jaidyn to "mind your mother Jaidyn." Strange look "JAIDYN! Oh my gosh, I didn't even recognize you!" How are you, I don't really hear much about you anymore..." Well, duh. That's because your son is an idiot, got scared, we broke up, and is now making bad life choices, including but not limited to, dating a new girl. Yes, that is indeed why you no longer hear about me, Jennifer. But it's going to be really amazing when Jaidyn and you get to actually talk and she points out in her innocent and wise 5 year old way, what a colossal ass he is, because, let's be honest, it's Jaidyn, and she's famous for saying things to mortify me. So to top that awkward situation off....it get's to happen every Tuesday. There's a part of me that wonders, not if, but when and what Jaidyn will say about the whole Scott thing. Because she will. I'm midly concerned, but actually I don't really care. Not that I have anything against his mom, because I sure don't, in fact, I think his parents are great. It's just awkward for me, and I don't like to feel on the spot.
So, besides my coffee consumption...I'm applying for YWAM. The particular one I'm applying for is in Lyon, France and is an art based YWAM, meaning that they use different forms of art for outreach and ministry. I'm almost 100% sure that this is where God wants me! So I'm unbelievably excited for that. And, this is part of the reason I think it's a God thing, they (The YWAM people) are allowing me to bring Jaidyn. It isn't a YWAM Crossroads (that allow parents and children to go, and usually the kids have to be older) it's a regular YWAM and they are not only willing to work with me and Jaidyn, they keep asking me to turn my application in! So amazing! And, I'll get to use makeup as an outreach and ministry for Jesus! Woot!
I'm also excited that I have fingernails. I know it sounds weird, but...I've been a nail biter my WHOLE life, like since I had teeth. And the only other time that they have been long was back when I first started seeing Scott. So, it's like, an uber amazing act of awesomeness and self control that I have nails! See, being happy=long nails.
Oooohhh, and I'm totally waiting on my tax return! Booyah! But, I promised Jesus I wasn't going to blow it...........................or all of it, at least. I'm going to pay off my ticket (stinkin' cops!) pay a month of rent in advance, put 300 in savings and buy a laptop (hopefully, I suck at buying big ticket things though...) And then I'm going to get the other side of my lip pierced...I have my right side done. Speaking of that, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my lip piercing. I just did it the other day, and I can't wait to get the other side done. I'm so hardcore. I won't lie, my lip piercing gives me so much edgy attitude that it's ridiculous. That and my new rocker/biker chick leather jacket...it's amazing and it feels like butter!
I"m going to totally surprise all of you and let you know something...I haven't bought heels yet. And by bought them yet, I mean, I have not planned to spend chunks of my tax return on shoes. Be so proud of me. :)
And I'm going to give some of it to orphans, of course! I hope Bo won't mind that my 10 dollars a month comes in chunks...like 20 here, skip a couple months, 50 there, skip a month...ect.
So, basically, I've been busy with coffee consumption, (I now work part time at the same job Katie has, hahaha!) Amani Life Project fasion show planning, which includes copious amounts of myspace creeping teenage girls...I feel dirty, enjoying the awesome weather, playing with Jaidyn and trying to get her to tell me what she learned that day, work, and talking with my friends and finding an accountability partner....yay Lisa for making sure I don't fritter, and yay Katie for coffee and bible reading although this week we failed at that. And trying to not make an ass of myself on Tuesday afternoons. ;)
Trying to cram more life into my life and O.D. on coffee,
Kaila
1. I've never not had my daughter, work, or school to be occupied with, or that one time I had a boyfriend. So, basically, these 4 hours are devoted to me and my selfish natures.
2. No child screaming that she has to go potty, that she's bored, that she wants to do something else, or crawling all over me. It's amazing how an actual conversation sounds like without punctuation from a 5 year old.
3. I get to hang out with friends. And they're MY friends, and I don't have to share them with my small human, who thinks they're HER friends.
4. Barnes & Noble, a peppermint white mocha and 3+ hours of ininturupted reading. Nothing better...okay, that's a lie, I can think of a few things that are better, but sitll, on my top ten "nothing better" list.
5. Time to clean the house without it being destroyed right after or during the cleaning process. Okay, so I actually haven't done this yet...but I fully intend to, and it will be amazing.
6.Lunch...I can go anywhere besides McDonald's or Shari's. Amazing!
7. I really needed a break from Jaidyn, she's intense, and God gave me 4 hours 4 days a week. God's good.
8. Sleep...because sometimes there really is nothing better than a nap.
9. Makeup...I can do mine without having to start a movie, get a snack out, watch this, listen to a song or any other thing Jaidyn finds more important than my doing makeup. And, I can go to M.A.C. and have Laurel do my makeup and don't have to worry about Jaidyn being stolen, or knocking over the mannequins she poses with. :)
10. Who says there needs to be a round 10 reasons?
These are some of the reasons I love my 4 hours. But, Jaidyn is totally loving school too! She brings her little backpack and show and tell stuff. So precious. And she's making friends, and she's just happier all around. She asks me every day if it's a school day! Although, on her second day of school she asked me "mommy, am I going to school again today?" And I said "yes, you are going to school today. You will be going almost every day." Her response? "But you should let me skip out on school today, cause then we can snuggle" My daughter, skipping school at age 5. Sweet. So, here's the thing about her school though...So I walk in on her first day of school to pick her up, and who do I almost literally walk into? Scott's mom. Perfect. Because I need socially awkward situations with my ex boyfriend whom I'm no longer speaking to's mother. She totally didn't even recognize me at first, then when we were walking out to the buses, she told Jaidyn to "mind your mother Jaidyn." Strange look "JAIDYN! Oh my gosh, I didn't even recognize you!" How are you, I don't really hear much about you anymore..." Well, duh. That's because your son is an idiot, got scared, we broke up, and is now making bad life choices, including but not limited to, dating a new girl. Yes, that is indeed why you no longer hear about me, Jennifer. But it's going to be really amazing when Jaidyn and you get to actually talk and she points out in her innocent and wise 5 year old way, what a colossal ass he is, because, let's be honest, it's Jaidyn, and she's famous for saying things to mortify me. So to top that awkward situation off....it get's to happen every Tuesday. There's a part of me that wonders, not if, but when and what Jaidyn will say about the whole Scott thing. Because she will. I'm midly concerned, but actually I don't really care. Not that I have anything against his mom, because I sure don't, in fact, I think his parents are great. It's just awkward for me, and I don't like to feel on the spot.
So, besides my coffee consumption...I'm applying for YWAM. The particular one I'm applying for is in Lyon, France and is an art based YWAM, meaning that they use different forms of art for outreach and ministry. I'm almost 100% sure that this is where God wants me! So I'm unbelievably excited for that. And, this is part of the reason I think it's a God thing, they (The YWAM people) are allowing me to bring Jaidyn. It isn't a YWAM Crossroads (that allow parents and children to go, and usually the kids have to be older) it's a regular YWAM and they are not only willing to work with me and Jaidyn, they keep asking me to turn my application in! So amazing! And, I'll get to use makeup as an outreach and ministry for Jesus! Woot!
I'm also excited that I have fingernails. I know it sounds weird, but...I've been a nail biter my WHOLE life, like since I had teeth. And the only other time that they have been long was back when I first started seeing Scott. So, it's like, an uber amazing act of awesomeness and self control that I have nails! See, being happy=long nails.
Oooohhh, and I'm totally waiting on my tax return! Booyah! But, I promised Jesus I wasn't going to blow it...........................or all of it, at least. I'm going to pay off my ticket (stinkin' cops!) pay a month of rent in advance, put 300 in savings and buy a laptop (hopefully, I suck at buying big ticket things though...) And then I'm going to get the other side of my lip pierced...I have my right side done. Speaking of that, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my lip piercing. I just did it the other day, and I can't wait to get the other side done. I'm so hardcore. I won't lie, my lip piercing gives me so much edgy attitude that it's ridiculous. That and my new rocker/biker chick leather jacket...it's amazing and it feels like butter!
I"m going to totally surprise all of you and let you know something...I haven't bought heels yet. And by bought them yet, I mean, I have not planned to spend chunks of my tax return on shoes. Be so proud of me. :)
And I'm going to give some of it to orphans, of course! I hope Bo won't mind that my 10 dollars a month comes in chunks...like 20 here, skip a couple months, 50 there, skip a month...ect.
So, basically, I've been busy with coffee consumption, (I now work part time at the same job Katie has, hahaha!) Amani Life Project fasion show planning, which includes copious amounts of myspace creeping teenage girls...I feel dirty, enjoying the awesome weather, playing with Jaidyn and trying to get her to tell me what she learned that day, work, and talking with my friends and finding an accountability partner....yay Lisa for making sure I don't fritter, and yay Katie for coffee and bible reading although this week we failed at that. And trying to not make an ass of myself on Tuesday afternoons. ;)
Trying to cram more life into my life and O.D. on coffee,
Kaila
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
4 hours, my list and freedom
Oh, it's been a little while since I wrote here. Hmmm, that could be because I only blog when I should be working. Wait, that makes seem like I don't work. I think this could be a dangerous blog...When I don't know what I'm going to write about, things get out of hand. First of all, and update...life is so amazing right now. No, I didn't win the lottery and no, Jaidyn isn't miraculously an obedient, docile child...(internal sigh) But, she did get into Head Start, a pre-school program that prepares her for kindergarten (that's a weird word, I wonder where and what it it's derived from?) it's 4 hours a day, every day of the work week. So, to those of you who have been praying for me and relief, God answers in sometimes round-about ways! I will get 4 hours to be me Monday through Friday! And Jaidyn will get the structure, kid time and learning she needs to stimulate, grow, engross and direct her energy! She's uber excited about going to school, ask her about it, she'll tell you tons!
I've been cleaning out my emotional leftovers and have been discovering that it wasn't as difficult or time consuming as I thought it'd be. God is powerful and swift! Especially when getting rid of said emotional leftovers puts me back onto God's path for my life! How efficient he is, eh? It is a little bittersweet though, I won't lie. Katie will kill me for thinking about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (no, it's not Voldemort) But, honestly, it's not a cold turkey thing. (Another saying I'd like to know the origin of). And wow, I really have nothing more to say on the whole looking back and reminiscing about him topic! God is swift! Maybe I'm more melancholy about it because I lost so much time? Wasted so much of me on someone who deserved so little of me? I let someone sample my preserves (as Jenny Far Far would say) and I feel that loss in me...sad. Really sad, actually. That's a year of my life, a year and a half of my emotions, a piece of my heart and my daughter's heart that was given to someone who didn't deserve any of it. Those are all things I can't take back, and things that were given to someone who isn't my husband. Gross. I don't want my husband to be shelling out pieces of him. Bleck!
Well, anyways, I had major breakthrough in this department. I was released from bondage and from blindness! I am freed because my Almighty Savior loves me and wants me, he seeks me to all corners of the world and in whatever stupid situation I get myself tangled in. Sometimes He just has to speak loudly from someone's earthly voice (you know who you people are!)
I'm done with that stumbling block, I want to avoid it and not fall on my face, thank you very much!
So, thank you to the people who have been praying for me! God's working in my life through you guys! (And by guys, I mean people, I wouldn't want there to be any confusion about having guys pray for girls!) That was a little mean...I know, but hey, it's how I feel.
So, over that segment and into the next...
I probably won't have anything profound for you all today...not that I"m usually profound or anything. I like coffee. Lots of it.
I'll just tell you some of the reasons I'm looking forward to 2009
1. More God, less selfish me stuff
2. Watching Jaidyn grow and turn more into herself
3. Family unity
4. Blossoming friendships
5. March
6. Renewal
7. God's decision about YWAM for me...I hope he thinks it's as good an idea as I do
8. Restoration
9. Financial Peace class (which I missed the first one, oops)
10. M.A.C.s Hello Kitty Collection (def. deserves a top 10 place)
11. Amanda quitting her job so I can hang out with her more...okay, that's selfish me stuff, but still.
12. Finding a secret coffee shop that will be all my own and totally cool where I invite only my special friends. You'll need a password.
13. Shoes, more of them and with higher heels
14. Katie wisdom, it's good, and peculiar at times.
15. A vacation and not to Arizona because visiting brothers and shopping doesn't count as an actual vacation
16. Reaching out to Single Moms (and yes, the title does deserve caps) and seeing a hurting and desperate community come to life in Christ! It will happen!
17. Tattoos, possibly more than 2...
18. NOT coloring my hair for 6 months, if I do, you have full permission to kick me.
19. Jennifer time...you just can't get enough of what she has to say...listen!
20. Jaidyn's school work, it will be so cute with crooked writing and pictures of Dallas.
21. Finally getting to hang out with Ryan, he reclusive friend that wants to hang out, but we never catch each other at the right time.
22. God in my cousin's life. He needs Him major.
23. New Moon movie, I'll be in line for the midnight premier fo sho!
24. Becoming a real make up artist
25. becoming a better mommy
26. not having a double chin, a serious undertaking, you know
27. Going to more concerts
29. Being confident in who I am and how I was created
30. Use cool words, like frittle, in everday conversations
31. Be more like Jesus
32. Receive flowers, I'm not entirely sure how this will work out, but, hey, I can look forward to it
33. be a part of something BIG
34. Being beautiful
35. Getting a massage
36. Hosting a wicked awesome party, in costume of course!
37. Making new friends
38. Painting more
39. Finding my new favorite restaurant
40. Selling shoes that I no longer wear. Out with the old! yada yada
41. Seeing more good in my world than bad
42. Girls nights and all that they encompass
43. Enjoying my job more and more
44. Caring less what people think of me
45. Being more spirit lead
46. Finding a perfect bra
47. Just M.A.C. in general
48. Saving more and spending less
49. Amani Life Project
50. Occasional bouts of the C 3 diet
51. Finding my niche out here
52. March, I know I already said it, but it's important to me
53. Summer, a really really awesome summer to make up for '08
54. Making my bed every day
55. A new small group that I actually feel a part of, and that actually meets in real life
56. Fashion Show
57. Movie Nights with Jaidyn
58. Jaidyn is the Boss of the Day days (we always end up doing much more fun things than when I'm boss)
59. October 25th, because my birthday is all important, and it should be to everybody
60. Make up
61. Journals, lots of them, and make em pretty
62. A pair of ridiculously expensive jeans, just so I know what all the fuss is about
63. Splurging on myself, because no one else will do it
64. Weddings! Because I won't be bitter!
65. Going to the lake with friends and family, this also includes camping of all varieties
66. growing out my nails
67. Getting healthier
68. reading more than socially acceptable
69. Meeting Edward, okay, this may not be feasible, but hey, a girl can dream of a gorgeous, romantic vampire boyfriend, can't she?
70. Being more Me, not what people want me to be, or what I think people want me to be. But being who God created me to be, all of it, silly, weird, fun, outrageous, artist, strong, bold...all of it. Embracing who I am in Christ.
Basking in the 4 hour answer to prayer and looking forward,
Kaila
I've been cleaning out my emotional leftovers and have been discovering that it wasn't as difficult or time consuming as I thought it'd be. God is powerful and swift! Especially when getting rid of said emotional leftovers puts me back onto God's path for my life! How efficient he is, eh? It is a little bittersweet though, I won't lie. Katie will kill me for thinking about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (no, it's not Voldemort) But, honestly, it's not a cold turkey thing. (Another saying I'd like to know the origin of). And wow, I really have nothing more to say on the whole looking back and reminiscing about him topic! God is swift! Maybe I'm more melancholy about it because I lost so much time? Wasted so much of me on someone who deserved so little of me? I let someone sample my preserves (as Jenny Far Far would say) and I feel that loss in me...sad. Really sad, actually. That's a year of my life, a year and a half of my emotions, a piece of my heart and my daughter's heart that was given to someone who didn't deserve any of it. Those are all things I can't take back, and things that were given to someone who isn't my husband. Gross. I don't want my husband to be shelling out pieces of him. Bleck!
Well, anyways, I had major breakthrough in this department. I was released from bondage and from blindness! I am freed because my Almighty Savior loves me and wants me, he seeks me to all corners of the world and in whatever stupid situation I get myself tangled in. Sometimes He just has to speak loudly from someone's earthly voice (you know who you people are!)
I'm done with that stumbling block, I want to avoid it and not fall on my face, thank you very much!
So, thank you to the people who have been praying for me! God's working in my life through you guys! (And by guys, I mean people, I wouldn't want there to be any confusion about having guys pray for girls!) That was a little mean...I know, but hey, it's how I feel.
So, over that segment and into the next...
I probably won't have anything profound for you all today...not that I"m usually profound or anything. I like coffee. Lots of it.
I'll just tell you some of the reasons I'm looking forward to 2009
1. More God, less selfish me stuff
2. Watching Jaidyn grow and turn more into herself
3. Family unity
4. Blossoming friendships
5. March
6. Renewal
7. God's decision about YWAM for me...I hope he thinks it's as good an idea as I do
8. Restoration
9. Financial Peace class (which I missed the first one, oops)
10. M.A.C.s Hello Kitty Collection (def. deserves a top 10 place)
11. Amanda quitting her job so I can hang out with her more...okay, that's selfish me stuff, but still.
12. Finding a secret coffee shop that will be all my own and totally cool where I invite only my special friends. You'll need a password.
13. Shoes, more of them and with higher heels
14. Katie wisdom, it's good, and peculiar at times.
15. A vacation and not to Arizona because visiting brothers and shopping doesn't count as an actual vacation
16. Reaching out to Single Moms (and yes, the title does deserve caps) and seeing a hurting and desperate community come to life in Christ! It will happen!
17. Tattoos, possibly more than 2...
18. NOT coloring my hair for 6 months, if I do, you have full permission to kick me.
19. Jennifer time...you just can't get enough of what she has to say...listen!
20. Jaidyn's school work, it will be so cute with crooked writing and pictures of Dallas.
21. Finally getting to hang out with Ryan, he reclusive friend that wants to hang out, but we never catch each other at the right time.
22. God in my cousin's life. He needs Him major.
23. New Moon movie, I'll be in line for the midnight premier fo sho!
24. Becoming a real make up artist
25. becoming a better mommy
26. not having a double chin, a serious undertaking, you know
27. Going to more concerts
29. Being confident in who I am and how I was created
30. Use cool words, like frittle, in everday conversations
31. Be more like Jesus
32. Receive flowers, I'm not entirely sure how this will work out, but, hey, I can look forward to it
33. be a part of something BIG
34. Being beautiful
35. Getting a massage
36. Hosting a wicked awesome party, in costume of course!
37. Making new friends
38. Painting more
39. Finding my new favorite restaurant
40. Selling shoes that I no longer wear. Out with the old! yada yada
41. Seeing more good in my world than bad
42. Girls nights and all that they encompass
43. Enjoying my job more and more
44. Caring less what people think of me
45. Being more spirit lead
46. Finding a perfect bra
47. Just M.A.C. in general
48. Saving more and spending less
49. Amani Life Project
50. Occasional bouts of the C 3 diet
51. Finding my niche out here
52. March, I know I already said it, but it's important to me
53. Summer, a really really awesome summer to make up for '08
54. Making my bed every day
55. A new small group that I actually feel a part of, and that actually meets in real life
56. Fashion Show
57. Movie Nights with Jaidyn
58. Jaidyn is the Boss of the Day days (we always end up doing much more fun things than when I'm boss)
59. October 25th, because my birthday is all important, and it should be to everybody
60. Make up
61. Journals, lots of them, and make em pretty
62. A pair of ridiculously expensive jeans, just so I know what all the fuss is about
63. Splurging on myself, because no one else will do it
64. Weddings! Because I won't be bitter!
65. Going to the lake with friends and family, this also includes camping of all varieties
66. growing out my nails
67. Getting healthier
68. reading more than socially acceptable
69. Meeting Edward, okay, this may not be feasible, but hey, a girl can dream of a gorgeous, romantic vampire boyfriend, can't she?
70. Being more Me, not what people want me to be, or what I think people want me to be. But being who God created me to be, all of it, silly, weird, fun, outrageous, artist, strong, bold...all of it. Embracing who I am in Christ.
Basking in the 4 hour answer to prayer and looking forward,
Kaila
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
2008, Love, Twilight and Leftovers
Wow, it's 2009 already. It's weird to look back on 2008 and think about how different my life was at this time. I had just sustained a back ninjury(this was a typo, but I decided to keep it...a ninjury is when my ninja skills fail me, apparently) and was probably really strung out on painkillers and muscle relaxers. A 450+ pound woman fell and brought me along for the ride. I remember all I was wishing for, what I got and who I lost. My sister had a baby. I saw Cirque De Soleil, which I'd wanted to see for YEARS! I went camping on the Oregon coast...in April...in a tent. It hailed and snowed, but still was a lot of fun. I started a bad habit while stalking and talking, and quit my delicious, smells like Christmas bad habit a few months later. I fell in love. I became friends with some girls purely because I spend so much money on M.A.C. (enter guilt here, Orphans could be sent to college with this money). I changed the struts on my car...by myself! Guys, be impressed. I also changed my oil a few times too. I bought a digital camera, I wanted pink, but there was only green. I went out...more than I have ever. I developed an appriciation for a good beer. No more Corona for me! I broke a tooth on a banana Runt, got a knarly MRSA infection (again, thanks to a patient and no signage for contact precautions! Gotta love St. Charles) had to go to the hospital every 4 hours for IV antibiotics for 2 days and in the end had to have the tooth pulled. With losing my tooth, I gained a slight lisp. Listen for it, especially with the TH sounds, I occasionally sound like Daffy the Duck. So, along with more attractive points.........
I read the entire Twilight Saga in like less than 2 weeks. I cried while reading New Moon. And, yes, I do wish Edward Cullen was real. I moved across town to a really cute condo on Single Mom Alley. My daughter saw her dad for the first time in 2 years. I got paid to do someone's makeup! I found my twin on earth. Seriously, she's just like me...check her myspace...she's on my top friends. I lost 2 people I loved. One is gone forever and his memories will be cherished, and my books he doodled on. My daughter and I got a dog...she's a robot. And her name is Annika Pranika. I got a new tattoo...it's beautiful. I gave a person a tattoo, it's hideous! I bought flats...intentionally. For work people! I learned that the grey alpaca's color is worth a pretty penny. I watched movies. Lots of them. I became addicted to UFC. I had my first Valentine's Day. No flowers, but some really pretty shoes. Mmmmmm shoes. I went to the High Desert Museum for the first time ever! Such fun it was, I got some great pictures and some endearing memories. I had the worst summer in the history of me. It was awful and dark, but in that summer, I met the greatness of Katie. She's like an anti-drug. Seriously.
Speaking of Katie, Jaidyn was attacked by a vicious tiger and still has a scar. Bad Meow.
I spent some lonley months with just myself, my daughter and work. Not to say that spending time with my kid is boring, but I had no time to be Kaila, just always mommy or Kala (that's how my name is spelled on my work badge). I rode in a Hummer H2, was not impressed. I saw old friends that I haven't even thought about since high school. I got to spend Thanksgiving with my family for the first time in 3 years. I switched to the most amazing work schedule I've EVER had. I colored my hair fire engine red. It was glorious. I did leopard print eye makeup. Yes, you read right. Leopard print, on my eyes...epic.
I took about 200 randomly ridiculous pictures in one night, involving a stuffed fish, swords, wigs and feather boas.
Stalking and Talking. There's no more to it than that.
I attempted to make feather earrings. But discovered I have an impossibly short neck and they look terrible. I kept up with CSI after working all through 2007 season. And I totally cried when Warrick died. Sniff sniff. I became obsessive about being on the Amazing Race. Obsessive. I .haven't given up the dream...I WILL be on that show someday. I spent more on M.A.C. than my car is worth. I became an aunt. I bought Danskos...some of the UGLIEST shoes ever...but of course, they're for work. I started one of those cool journals where pictures and momentos are glued in...and left it when our story ended. I went to Saturday Market in Portland, and while this is not in and of itself a big deal, it was the company that was a big deal. I got a really cute hat too.
I chopped all of my hair off. Yup, sure did. And bleached the crap out of it too. EEEeeeee! I put highlights in Jaidyn's hair. Yes, I'm that kind of mom.
Let's go back to the whole Twilight section...seriously, I read the entire saga in like 2 weeks. And since I bought all the books I've read the saga 8 times. I'm working on the 9th. It's a huge epic Vampire love story. What, besides Jesus saving us fromn hell, could be better? Seriously?
Ok, I don't take what Jesus did for me lightly, and while I love Jesus....I really like vampires too. Really really like Vampires. Like, I have demi-permanent vampire fangs that I wear, nowhere near Halloween too. Often. So often, in fact, that there's a nurse on Ortho that calls me Count Kaila whenever he sees me. And no, it's not the cute nurse that I have a junior high crush on. :( I have a bumper sticker on my car that states that I, Kaila Backman, am indeed "with the Vampires, of course" That's like going public. That's more than Facebook official, where, in that silly whimiscal world of facebook, you can change your undying allegiance with the click of a mouse. It's practically like sending out engagement announcements. And not only do I have that bumper sticker, my precious romantic heart has another Twilight bumper sticker about how a lion fell in love with a lamb. What a stupid lamb...and you know the rest. There you have it, my pledge to Twilight, all over my geo prism. I freaking love Twilight. And Edward Cullen? I'm pretty sure that in some abstract forgotten language Edward Cullen translates to most perfect boyfriend in the history of real or fictional men. My only advice to the opposite sex? Not reading Twilight is only hindering you my friends. Read Twilight, be Edward. Capiche?
Speaking of love...isn't it confusing? And hard? And, when it fizzles, or never really ignites, really really lame?
I'm sitting here at work thinking about how much I've thought about love in the last year. 2008 was a big year in the love category for my life. I dated my best friend, people say that's the best mate, a really good idea and all that. I think they're liars, all of them. Either that or they've never dated their best friend and then broke up. You don't only lose a boyfriend or girlfriend, you lose a friend. Because, let's be honest, it's never the same after. You can't just go back to the whole "we're just really good friends" it's just impossible. Because there's leftovers. Emotions that are very real and very there, just like the leftovers in the fridge. You don't really have anywhere else to put them so into the fridge they go, you think you'll use them again, so you let them sit in their sealed up little tupperware. When you look inside later though, you see them and wonder, "Hmmm, it's been awhile, but I think it'll be okay" only to crack that tupperware lid and BAM!!! you're knocked flat on your back and not because of the alluring aroma. Oh no, because while you've "safely" tucked away those leftover emotions, they've been festering in their tupperware, and now, not only is there the original emotion, but a little extra has been growing in there too. Maybe some bitterness has grown. Or perhaps some feelings of inadequacy. All sorts of other stuff can take root while you're not looking (on purpsse, don't lie) while you've been holding on to the leftovers, when really, you don't even LIKE leftovers, it's just a waste of space anyway, taking a place where perfectly new and fresh stuff could go. Or perhaps something more appetizing could go there, like a new sense of adventure, or forgiveness. Hmmm, you just don't know what sorts of stuff you're missing out on when you store the leftovers. And when I say you, I mean me. This little anecdote has been a small revelation to me, whilst I sit here blogging my shift away, in fact. Don't you love revelations like that...although, I much prefer the word epiphanies. That's a great word. I have small epiphanies like my leftovers one tonight quite often. YOu'd think with all the epiphanies going on in my life, I'd have it more together. But, alas, I'm hard headed...or dumb, but I really have an aversion to dumb people, so I prefer hard headed. Well, as this blog now looks like utter chaos, I'm going to call it quits.
Here's to cleaning out our stinky fridge's and to loving Vampires.
Ciao
Kaila
I read the entire Twilight Saga in like less than 2 weeks. I cried while reading New Moon. And, yes, I do wish Edward Cullen was real. I moved across town to a really cute condo on Single Mom Alley. My daughter saw her dad for the first time in 2 years. I got paid to do someone's makeup! I found my twin on earth. Seriously, she's just like me...check her myspace...she's on my top friends. I lost 2 people I loved. One is gone forever and his memories will be cherished, and my books he doodled on. My daughter and I got a dog...she's a robot. And her name is Annika Pranika. I got a new tattoo...it's beautiful. I gave a person a tattoo, it's hideous! I bought flats...intentionally. For work people! I learned that the grey alpaca's color is worth a pretty penny. I watched movies. Lots of them. I became addicted to UFC. I had my first Valentine's Day. No flowers, but some really pretty shoes. Mmmmmm shoes. I went to the High Desert Museum for the first time ever! Such fun it was, I got some great pictures and some endearing memories. I had the worst summer in the history of me. It was awful and dark, but in that summer, I met the greatness of Katie. She's like an anti-drug. Seriously.
Speaking of Katie, Jaidyn was attacked by a vicious tiger and still has a scar. Bad Meow.
I spent some lonley months with just myself, my daughter and work. Not to say that spending time with my kid is boring, but I had no time to be Kaila, just always mommy or Kala (that's how my name is spelled on my work badge). I rode in a Hummer H2, was not impressed. I saw old friends that I haven't even thought about since high school. I got to spend Thanksgiving with my family for the first time in 3 years. I switched to the most amazing work schedule I've EVER had. I colored my hair fire engine red. It was glorious. I did leopard print eye makeup. Yes, you read right. Leopard print, on my eyes...epic.
I took about 200 randomly ridiculous pictures in one night, involving a stuffed fish, swords, wigs and feather boas.
Stalking and Talking. There's no more to it than that.
I attempted to make feather earrings. But discovered I have an impossibly short neck and they look terrible. I kept up with CSI after working all through 2007 season. And I totally cried when Warrick died. Sniff sniff. I became obsessive about being on the Amazing Race. Obsessive. I .haven't given up the dream...I WILL be on that show someday. I spent more on M.A.C. than my car is worth. I became an aunt. I bought Danskos...some of the UGLIEST shoes ever...but of course, they're for work. I started one of those cool journals where pictures and momentos are glued in...and left it when our story ended. I went to Saturday Market in Portland, and while this is not in and of itself a big deal, it was the company that was a big deal. I got a really cute hat too.
I chopped all of my hair off. Yup, sure did. And bleached the crap out of it too. EEEeeeee! I put highlights in Jaidyn's hair. Yes, I'm that kind of mom.
Let's go back to the whole Twilight section...seriously, I read the entire saga in like 2 weeks. And since I bought all the books I've read the saga 8 times. I'm working on the 9th. It's a huge epic Vampire love story. What, besides Jesus saving us fromn hell, could be better? Seriously?
Ok, I don't take what Jesus did for me lightly, and while I love Jesus....I really like vampires too. Really really like Vampires. Like, I have demi-permanent vampire fangs that I wear, nowhere near Halloween too. Often. So often, in fact, that there's a nurse on Ortho that calls me Count Kaila whenever he sees me. And no, it's not the cute nurse that I have a junior high crush on. :( I have a bumper sticker on my car that states that I, Kaila Backman, am indeed "with the Vampires, of course" That's like going public. That's more than Facebook official, where, in that silly whimiscal world of facebook, you can change your undying allegiance with the click of a mouse. It's practically like sending out engagement announcements. And not only do I have that bumper sticker, my precious romantic heart has another Twilight bumper sticker about how a lion fell in love with a lamb. What a stupid lamb...and you know the rest. There you have it, my pledge to Twilight, all over my geo prism. I freaking love Twilight. And Edward Cullen? I'm pretty sure that in some abstract forgotten language Edward Cullen translates to most perfect boyfriend in the history of real or fictional men. My only advice to the opposite sex? Not reading Twilight is only hindering you my friends. Read Twilight, be Edward. Capiche?
Speaking of love...isn't it confusing? And hard? And, when it fizzles, or never really ignites, really really lame?
I'm sitting here at work thinking about how much I've thought about love in the last year. 2008 was a big year in the love category for my life. I dated my best friend, people say that's the best mate, a really good idea and all that. I think they're liars, all of them. Either that or they've never dated their best friend and then broke up. You don't only lose a boyfriend or girlfriend, you lose a friend. Because, let's be honest, it's never the same after. You can't just go back to the whole "we're just really good friends" it's just impossible. Because there's leftovers. Emotions that are very real and very there, just like the leftovers in the fridge. You don't really have anywhere else to put them so into the fridge they go, you think you'll use them again, so you let them sit in their sealed up little tupperware. When you look inside later though, you see them and wonder, "Hmmm, it's been awhile, but I think it'll be okay" only to crack that tupperware lid and BAM!!! you're knocked flat on your back and not because of the alluring aroma. Oh no, because while you've "safely" tucked away those leftover emotions, they've been festering in their tupperware, and now, not only is there the original emotion, but a little extra has been growing in there too. Maybe some bitterness has grown. Or perhaps some feelings of inadequacy. All sorts of other stuff can take root while you're not looking (on purpsse, don't lie) while you've been holding on to the leftovers, when really, you don't even LIKE leftovers, it's just a waste of space anyway, taking a place where perfectly new and fresh stuff could go. Or perhaps something more appetizing could go there, like a new sense of adventure, or forgiveness. Hmmm, you just don't know what sorts of stuff you're missing out on when you store the leftovers. And when I say you, I mean me. This little anecdote has been a small revelation to me, whilst I sit here blogging my shift away, in fact. Don't you love revelations like that...although, I much prefer the word epiphanies. That's a great word. I have small epiphanies like my leftovers one tonight quite often. YOu'd think with all the epiphanies going on in my life, I'd have it more together. But, alas, I'm hard headed...or dumb, but I really have an aversion to dumb people, so I prefer hard headed. Well, as this blog now looks like utter chaos, I'm going to call it quits.
Here's to cleaning out our stinky fridge's and to loving Vampires.
Ciao
Kaila
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Once Upon a Time...
First of all, please don't judge my grammar and spelling. Yes, yes, I know, I TOTALLY judge yours, and yes, mine should be better due to AP English classes, but let's face it, it's a blog, not a term paper and I'm writing these bits of stalker bait during my noc shifts at work. At times, I can't even see straight and will be relying on my 7 grade typing class.
That being said, I will now launch into me. :)
I've lived a life that is both exciting and incredibly boring. I've been selfless and selfish, made wise choices and poor choices. All of this has lead up to where I am today, who I am today and will play a part in who I will be and where I will be going.
Here's my life in a nutshell.
I grew up in Sherwood Oregon. I started kindergarten there and graduated high school there. I don't really talk to anybody from all those years, apparently life gets in the way more than I thought it ever would.
When I was 18 I met Adam and started dating him, he was my first boyfriend, because growing up, I was definitely always in the "friend zone" with all the guys. This is an unfortunate occurance for girls who have brothers both 2 years older and 1 year younger and a male cousin in the same grade.
When I graduated I couldn't wait to get out from under my parents...So out I went. I moved in with my friend for a couple of weeks, then showed up at the airport to welcome my birthmom home from vacation. My parents divorced when I was very young and my stepmom raised me, so that's the reason for the word birthmom.
So, I showed up to "surprise" welcome her home, when I say surprise and welcome, I mean show up and tell her I"m moving in. Well, living in Vancouver WA never really suited me and Adam and I had the really genius idea of moving in together.
DON'T EVER DO THIS, unless of course you are in wedded bliss, in which case, it really is a genius idea.
So, I got knocked up. No real point in beating around the bush. The pregnacy was beauiful and amazing and I LOVED being pregnant. The life situation, on the other hand kinda sucked. I was in an drug fueled abusive realationship, that I couldn't really see a way out of because I loved him and wanted to find a solution, to make him better, to be the one he changed for.
Ladies, this, as well, was another of my genius ideas. Here's a quick tip, they rarely change, even for you.
So, I had Jaidyn, the love of my life, on December 20th 2003. It was miraculous, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, rainbows and butterflies.
It scared the shit out of me.
But, since then I've learned of the amazing earth shaking power of God's protective love for me. I'd always been a believer, but I turned into a follower after that.
God saved my life through Jaidyn. Not just my spiritual life, this isn't some pious "Oh having a kid changes your life" no. I went from having a meth addict hold a knife to my throat, being locked in a garage in summer for 6 hours while pregnant, being kneed in the stomach while carrying his child, choked, punched, pushed down stairs, degraded, yelled at, controlled, dominated, knocked out on occasion to FREEDOM! To being alone, but not living in fear and not being lonely. To having a difficult road of single motherhood, but being blessed with a child that loves me purely, intensely, smotheringly and unconditionally.
Don't get me wrong, it's not been easy, in fact, as of late, it's been extremely difficult, it's been hard to feel motivated to be the above and beyond mommy when she's tearing my house apart 3 or 4 times a day. Or when she takes a sharpie to the white leather couch. Or when she won't clean her room. Or when I don't hang out with friends, don't get a break from her besides my job for 2 months. But, in the end, I've been blessed with her. God TRUSTS me? Me to be her mom, and frankly, I think God's a little nuts himself for thinking I could do this alone for this long.
So, I'm a single mom, I work at St. Charles Medical Center as a CNA, I'm going to school to be a nurse. But, the secret is, I don't know if this is what I'm really called to do. I mean, I like it, it's a rewarding job, it's a great schedule, benefits, blah blah blah. But, I think I might be too creative for this job. The whole reason I got into this field was 1. It's a steady job, I can go anywhere and get a job, no welfare mama here. 2. I wanted to use it to go into the mission field. I know, you're thinking I'm so noble. So far, though, no missions out of me. Dang, they're expensive to go on! But I still have a heart for missions and I think God up there lounging on his cloud planning something big for me.
I know that I'm called to missions. I don't doubt that at all. When I was baptized I had a prophetic word spoken over me. I was told I have the gift of evangelism and that I'll travel the nations spreading the Word of God. But being called to missions and being a nurse don't have to go hand in hand, I guess.
Here are some things I love...
I love to do MAKEUP. If you know me, you know that I cake it on like a drag queen. Seriously. It's not that I feel that I'm ugly without it, quite the opposite, I feel like I look best when I have just some mascara and creatively smudged eyeliner. But, I compulsively play with makeup. There's just something so beautiful about puttting art on your face, about transforming your face into something different, or unique or shocking, something that people look and say "cool"! By the way, I like attention. Lots.
So, I'm trying to find a way to do makeup, but for Jesus. If you have any ideas, please, let me know. I could start an outreach to drag queens, I suppose.
High Heels...really really high heels. I'm pretty sure DMV should let me put 5 ft 10 1/2 on my drivers liscence because I'm rarely shorter than that. My natural height is 5 ft 6 1/2 inches. But, if we're honest, your height really should be determined by how tall you appear to be, not how tall you are at home in your pajamas where nobody sees you. Right?
I have almost 200 pairs of high heels. When I reach 200, I'm pretty sure that I should deserve a pair of Manolo's or Jimmy Choo's for reaching my lofty goal. I really really really love high heels. They're sexy, pretty, shoes always fit, even when my fat pants are too tight, they make my legs look even better. I'm pretty sure I lose 10 pounds every time I put on a pair too.
I don't get the women who wear flip flops and sneakers. YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY. I don't care that you're wearing a skirt, I knew a little ginger boy who wear sneakers with dress in my daycare back in the day. It was a green dress with yellow flowers and a peter pan collar.
YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY
That's the other thing...what's with women not looking like women? Where has our femininity run off to? I don't care that there's 2 feet of snow and ice on the ground, you will find me in a skirt and heels, (at least heels) no matter what. Although, I wouldn't advise trying to walk over the speed humps in the eastside Safeway parking lot when it's icy with heels on, you'll end up looking like a cartoon trying to get your legs back under you.
There's so many women who hide their femininity(try to say that word, spell it and type it at the same time...yeesh!) behind sweatshirts and flip flops or behind a power suit and a bonecrushing handshake or behind making the move first when it comes to a guy.
That's NOT how God created us...and He knows what He's doing, we don't, yes, you know you just thought of a time when you did something stupid, didn't you? God created us last, we're his crowning touch on creation. (It means we're prettiest) :) He created us with raging hormones, mood swings, overactive tear ducts, big butts, soft hearts, intuition, real and obvious emotions, the gift of gab, I mean communication, and those precious 3 layers of fat, (because, of course, only a woman can be trusted to carry a baby) embrace it! Don't hide it. Act feminine, look feminine, be feminine. When we deny it, or hide it, we're really telling God that we don't like what and who He created us to be.
My daughter. Jaidyn. There's really not enough room here, and you're probably bored reading this. So, if you know her, you love her, but only for about 3 hours, then you try and get away. YOu know who you people are! Don't think I haven't noticed!
She's a spitfire, has the attitude of a spoiled 16 year old on MTV's Sweet 16, is a freaking sponge, has more energy than Richard Simmons on speed, loves tattoos, AC/DC, anything Tim Burton, thinks farting on you is the funniest thing ever, has an imaginary friend named Ellie who is a skull and crossbones with a bow on her head, has no filter when it comes to saying what's on her mind, and is usually dead on accurate when it comes to observations about the world.
I'll leave you with some of her best quotes
"Rock on AC/DC!" 2 years old, holding up the rock on sign with both hands.
"My mommy's going to have a baby in her tummy...But not till she finds a MAAAaaN to marry her first!" 2 1/2 years, August 2006 when meeting Chaundi's new baby, in front of about 10 women from church.
"My mommy has big boobs, I don't have any boobs yet, but someday I want big boobs like my mommy" 2 1/2 years talking to Scott Edwards (pre friendship and pre dating) about 20 minutes later, she put a sticker on the crotch of his jeans.
"Mommy, it's okay that you're chubby, well lots of chubby, I think you're prettier chubby" 4 years old, when I told her why I wasn't buying us ice cream.
Jaidyn pretends to give me presents all the time. On Father's day, my dad opened his gift and she immediately grabbed the box and paper and went off to a corner to "wrap" my gift. She comes back, gives it to me and I open it and say
"A BABY! I don't want another baby!"
to which she replies
"I tried to find you a husband. There were none, I looked!"
4 years old, Father's Day 2008
This is another gift story
I gave my dad 10 dollars to let Jaidyn have so she could buy me a birthday gift. Dad drops her off with me and she's vibrating with excitement, which I thought was due to her being so thrilled with picking me a real present. So I open the gift and behold! It is Tinkerbell playmake up, a stuffed elephant and clackers (you know the ones, you stick em on your fingers and clack clack clack away just to annoy anyone within hearing distance).
I look at her and say
"Thank you Jaidyn for the present, but.."
Before I can get my entire sentence out she interupts with
"But the makeup isn't M.A.C. so you won't like it, so could I just have it?"
There are plenty other Jaidyn quotes, and as they come, I will create an entire blog of the hilarious workings of her mind.
Well, I leave you with this for now. But I can tell that I will become slightly addicted to sharing my life via blogs. Maybe I'll become famous for it...I mean if Jeffree Star and Perez Hilton can do it.
That being said, I will now launch into me. :)
I've lived a life that is both exciting and incredibly boring. I've been selfless and selfish, made wise choices and poor choices. All of this has lead up to where I am today, who I am today and will play a part in who I will be and where I will be going.
Here's my life in a nutshell.
I grew up in Sherwood Oregon. I started kindergarten there and graduated high school there. I don't really talk to anybody from all those years, apparently life gets in the way more than I thought it ever would.
When I was 18 I met Adam and started dating him, he was my first boyfriend, because growing up, I was definitely always in the "friend zone" with all the guys. This is an unfortunate occurance for girls who have brothers both 2 years older and 1 year younger and a male cousin in the same grade.
When I graduated I couldn't wait to get out from under my parents...So out I went. I moved in with my friend for a couple of weeks, then showed up at the airport to welcome my birthmom home from vacation. My parents divorced when I was very young and my stepmom raised me, so that's the reason for the word birthmom.
So, I showed up to "surprise" welcome her home, when I say surprise and welcome, I mean show up and tell her I"m moving in. Well, living in Vancouver WA never really suited me and Adam and I had the really genius idea of moving in together.
DON'T EVER DO THIS, unless of course you are in wedded bliss, in which case, it really is a genius idea.
So, I got knocked up. No real point in beating around the bush. The pregnacy was beauiful and amazing and I LOVED being pregnant. The life situation, on the other hand kinda sucked. I was in an drug fueled abusive realationship, that I couldn't really see a way out of because I loved him and wanted to find a solution, to make him better, to be the one he changed for.
Ladies, this, as well, was another of my genius ideas. Here's a quick tip, they rarely change, even for you.
So, I had Jaidyn, the love of my life, on December 20th 2003. It was miraculous, wonderful, amazing, beautiful, rainbows and butterflies.
It scared the shit out of me.
But, since then I've learned of the amazing earth shaking power of God's protective love for me. I'd always been a believer, but I turned into a follower after that.
God saved my life through Jaidyn. Not just my spiritual life, this isn't some pious "Oh having a kid changes your life" no. I went from having a meth addict hold a knife to my throat, being locked in a garage in summer for 6 hours while pregnant, being kneed in the stomach while carrying his child, choked, punched, pushed down stairs, degraded, yelled at, controlled, dominated, knocked out on occasion to FREEDOM! To being alone, but not living in fear and not being lonely. To having a difficult road of single motherhood, but being blessed with a child that loves me purely, intensely, smotheringly and unconditionally.
Don't get me wrong, it's not been easy, in fact, as of late, it's been extremely difficult, it's been hard to feel motivated to be the above and beyond mommy when she's tearing my house apart 3 or 4 times a day. Or when she takes a sharpie to the white leather couch. Or when she won't clean her room. Or when I don't hang out with friends, don't get a break from her besides my job for 2 months. But, in the end, I've been blessed with her. God TRUSTS me? Me to be her mom, and frankly, I think God's a little nuts himself for thinking I could do this alone for this long.
So, I'm a single mom, I work at St. Charles Medical Center as a CNA, I'm going to school to be a nurse. But, the secret is, I don't know if this is what I'm really called to do. I mean, I like it, it's a rewarding job, it's a great schedule, benefits, blah blah blah. But, I think I might be too creative for this job. The whole reason I got into this field was 1. It's a steady job, I can go anywhere and get a job, no welfare mama here. 2. I wanted to use it to go into the mission field. I know, you're thinking I'm so noble. So far, though, no missions out of me. Dang, they're expensive to go on! But I still have a heart for missions and I think God up there lounging on his cloud planning something big for me.
I know that I'm called to missions. I don't doubt that at all. When I was baptized I had a prophetic word spoken over me. I was told I have the gift of evangelism and that I'll travel the nations spreading the Word of God. But being called to missions and being a nurse don't have to go hand in hand, I guess.
Here are some things I love...
I love to do MAKEUP. If you know me, you know that I cake it on like a drag queen. Seriously. It's not that I feel that I'm ugly without it, quite the opposite, I feel like I look best when I have just some mascara and creatively smudged eyeliner. But, I compulsively play with makeup. There's just something so beautiful about puttting art on your face, about transforming your face into something different, or unique or shocking, something that people look and say "cool"! By the way, I like attention. Lots.
So, I'm trying to find a way to do makeup, but for Jesus. If you have any ideas, please, let me know. I could start an outreach to drag queens, I suppose.
High Heels...really really high heels. I'm pretty sure DMV should let me put 5 ft 10 1/2 on my drivers liscence because I'm rarely shorter than that. My natural height is 5 ft 6 1/2 inches. But, if we're honest, your height really should be determined by how tall you appear to be, not how tall you are at home in your pajamas where nobody sees you. Right?
I have almost 200 pairs of high heels. When I reach 200, I'm pretty sure that I should deserve a pair of Manolo's or Jimmy Choo's for reaching my lofty goal. I really really really love high heels. They're sexy, pretty, shoes always fit, even when my fat pants are too tight, they make my legs look even better. I'm pretty sure I lose 10 pounds every time I put on a pair too.
I don't get the women who wear flip flops and sneakers. YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY. I don't care that you're wearing a skirt, I knew a little ginger boy who wear sneakers with dress in my daycare back in the day. It was a green dress with yellow flowers and a peter pan collar.
YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY
That's the other thing...what's with women not looking like women? Where has our femininity run off to? I don't care that there's 2 feet of snow and ice on the ground, you will find me in a skirt and heels, (at least heels) no matter what. Although, I wouldn't advise trying to walk over the speed humps in the eastside Safeway parking lot when it's icy with heels on, you'll end up looking like a cartoon trying to get your legs back under you.
There's so many women who hide their femininity(try to say that word, spell it and type it at the same time...yeesh!) behind sweatshirts and flip flops or behind a power suit and a bonecrushing handshake or behind making the move first when it comes to a guy.
That's NOT how God created us...and He knows what He's doing, we don't, yes, you know you just thought of a time when you did something stupid, didn't you? God created us last, we're his crowning touch on creation. (It means we're prettiest) :) He created us with raging hormones, mood swings, overactive tear ducts, big butts, soft hearts, intuition, real and obvious emotions, the gift of gab, I mean communication, and those precious 3 layers of fat, (because, of course, only a woman can be trusted to carry a baby) embrace it! Don't hide it. Act feminine, look feminine, be feminine. When we deny it, or hide it, we're really telling God that we don't like what and who He created us to be.
My daughter. Jaidyn. There's really not enough room here, and you're probably bored reading this. So, if you know her, you love her, but only for about 3 hours, then you try and get away. YOu know who you people are! Don't think I haven't noticed!
She's a spitfire, has the attitude of a spoiled 16 year old on MTV's Sweet 16, is a freaking sponge, has more energy than Richard Simmons on speed, loves tattoos, AC/DC, anything Tim Burton, thinks farting on you is the funniest thing ever, has an imaginary friend named Ellie who is a skull and crossbones with a bow on her head, has no filter when it comes to saying what's on her mind, and is usually dead on accurate when it comes to observations about the world.
I'll leave you with some of her best quotes
"Rock on AC/DC!" 2 years old, holding up the rock on sign with both hands.
"My mommy's going to have a baby in her tummy...But not till she finds a MAAAaaN to marry her first!" 2 1/2 years, August 2006 when meeting Chaundi's new baby, in front of about 10 women from church.
"My mommy has big boobs, I don't have any boobs yet, but someday I want big boobs like my mommy" 2 1/2 years talking to Scott Edwards (pre friendship and pre dating) about 20 minutes later, she put a sticker on the crotch of his jeans.
"Mommy, it's okay that you're chubby, well lots of chubby, I think you're prettier chubby" 4 years old, when I told her why I wasn't buying us ice cream.
Jaidyn pretends to give me presents all the time. On Father's day, my dad opened his gift and she immediately grabbed the box and paper and went off to a corner to "wrap" my gift. She comes back, gives it to me and I open it and say
"A BABY! I don't want another baby!"
to which she replies
"I tried to find you a husband. There were none, I looked!"
4 years old, Father's Day 2008
This is another gift story
I gave my dad 10 dollars to let Jaidyn have so she could buy me a birthday gift. Dad drops her off with me and she's vibrating with excitement, which I thought was due to her being so thrilled with picking me a real present. So I open the gift and behold! It is Tinkerbell playmake up, a stuffed elephant and clackers (you know the ones, you stick em on your fingers and clack clack clack away just to annoy anyone within hearing distance).
I look at her and say
"Thank you Jaidyn for the present, but.."
Before I can get my entire sentence out she interupts with
"But the makeup isn't M.A.C. so you won't like it, so could I just have it?"
There are plenty other Jaidyn quotes, and as they come, I will create an entire blog of the hilarious workings of her mind.
Well, I leave you with this for now. But I can tell that I will become slightly addicted to sharing my life via blogs. Maybe I'll become famous for it...I mean if Jeffree Star and Perez Hilton can do it.
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